Eugene Scrubs the Deck (And makes it look shiny)
by lonelyfangoddess
Summary: Who said love was only for humans? When Tamatoa and Eugene meet, sparks fly. What if the real treasure is finding each other?


When Eugene Krabs' time was up, he was send where all greedy creatures went: _Lalotai_ , the realm of monsters. Krabs moved his greedy little red legs and tried desperately to find anything with riches, but it was to no avail. Until he found a cave filled with wondrous treasures of gold and pearls. Eugene laughed his musical pirate laugh. Krabs went along the outside of the ring of treasure, checking for booby traps with his long and beautiful eyes, also pocketing all the gold he could carry in his shell. Suddenly, as Krabs was just about to climb the treasure mountain, he heard a rumbling and maniacal laugh come from below his body.

"Arrrr-" Krabs grumbled, pulling out a gold sword to fight.

"Oi, what 'ave we here? Ugh, another crab?" Tamatoa said, shaking Eugene upside down, emptying all the treasure onto his back. "A selfish, greedy crab." He grumbled, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, me bucko. That's a _cheap_ , selfish crab to you!" Eugene yelled at Tamatoa, while trying to stop Tamatoa's large claws from crushing his shell. Eugene's mood changed drastically in a moment, almost drooling watching the glittery treasure gleam across Tamatoa's back and legs. He noticed one leg was missing. When Krabs spotted Tamatoa's large eyes glaring at him, he couldn't help but admire the lovely shade of icy grey-blue they were.

"A-ahoy me bucko, what lovely treasures ye have." Krabs stammered, his cheeks going redder than his shell. _And eyes_ , he thought.

"Obviously. I'm crabulous. 'Ave had many fans tell me just that," If Tamatoa had hair, he would have been flipping it over his gold-plated shoulder. However, he did not, so Tamatoa settled on a dramatic sigh and a sexy side sweep of his eyes as they wandered over Eugene Krabs' delicious fire-red body. As flattered and tempted as he was, Tamatoa wasn't going to let his treasure be on display for the red crab so easily.

"How did ye get so many treasures?" Krabs asked, putting his big meaty claw over Tamatoa's, stroking the hard shell. Krabs carefully and discreetly shifted in his shell to re-adjust himself.

"I may have ate my grandma so I could raid her cave. I'm Tamatoa, by the way." Tamatoa said shyly. His cheeks gained an adorable pink hue that made Krabs desperately want to rub his claws all over Tamatoa. Eugene's eyes slid half closed as he listened to Tamatoa speak, and this was not skipped over by the giant crab. Tamatoa intentionally held Krabs closer and tighter, wanting to rub his personal treasures all over the smaller crab's shell.

"Me name's Krabs, but ye can call me Eugene," Krabs said, unknowingly making Tamatoa's insides flutter like his grandma was coming back to life when Eugene talked. "Ar ar ar ar ar ar ar," Krabs laughed nervously. Tamatoa's big grey-blue eyes fluttered. _Maybe the real treasure isn't gold_ , Tamatoa thought. He took a risk and brought Eugene closer, heatedly smothering him with his lips.

"You sure ye don't want te put me tight little body somewhere else me boy?" Krabs said seductively. Tamatoa groaned and, still carrying Eugene in his claw, rubbed him all over. Tamatoa most likely narrowly missed killing Krabs with his loose treasures a few times, but both were too absorbed in their heated activities to notice. Once Tamatoa released Krabs from his not sweaty claw, Eugene took a deep breath and crawled into Tamatoa's nice, tight hot asshole. Tamatoa moaned as he felt Krabs squirming around inside him and Krabs was enjoying this particular move a lot more than he expected to. Eugene wrapped both claws around Tamatoa's insides and slid up and down, licking and sucking. Tamatoa shivered and screamed with euphoria.

"Oh, Krabs baby, oh yes right there, OH MY SELLFFF-" Tamatoa let out a violently loud scream and shook multiple hanging pieces of gold and pearl off the walls. Tamatoa thought he heard a distinctive 'my leg' screamed out but ignored it. He came with a large shudder and filled Eugene's shell with his love. Krabs mixed his white blessing with Tamatoa's and came sliding out of him. Tamatoa gingerly picked him up and put him in his prison so he couldn't escape from him like his last lover did, though he really didn't need to. Krabs knew he wouldn't leave for all of eternity.

* * *

-Nine Months Later-

"Push Eugene, push!"

"I can't do this, me bucko. It's te difficult for a wee cheapskate like me,"

"You must! You have to bring our baby boy into the underworld."

"Tamatoa, I-AHHHHH!"

"You did it my beautiful red crab. I promise we will raise 'em to have a cool Jamaican accent so all the other creatures will be jealous of our red-shelled son. What should we name this teeny creature?"

Krabs said only one name as he held his newborn son close to his heaving, sweaty chest. "Sebastien."


End file.
